Welcome to our stories.
What We Automatically Do When We Are Anxious.
For the last two months I have been transitioning back to American life after two years of living abroad in Europe. The transition from mountain life in the Swiss Alps to a tropical city in the middle of the (seemingly endless) summer heat has certainly come with some challenges ...
Walking For Thinking.
I have walked more in the last year than I have walked in what seems to be a decade. 8 months ago I moved from Miami, Florida to my native country Switzerland. I am living in the mountains, surrounded by endless nature and alpine terrain ...
It's all about LOVE. Or is it?
I'm a relationship therapist and I work with many different types of couples in my private practice. The vast majority of the couples I see are in their late 20's to mid or late 40's. In the beginning I always ask the couple about the story of how they came together ...
How to Retrieve the Woman Behind the Mother.
Any woman who becomes a mother for the first time will evidently go through a radical change. Life as she knew it is no longer the same. The addition of a child to any couple will naturally change that relationship forever in some way or another.
Eleven Years Of Grief For Mom
In the summer of 2005, my mother committed suicide, and my life changed forever. Her death marked a significant demarcation point in my life: who I was before her death, and who I became after. The initial pain I felt in the wake of her death was unfathomable -- it was disorienting, gut-wrenching and incomprehensible
Introduction: A 5-Part Series for 21st-Century Couples
As a couples therapist, I have the privilege to meet and work with many couples. No couple is the same. They have different backgrounds, cultures, religions, educations, and socio economic status. Each has their own distinct personality and perspective on life and their relationships.
Part 1: Have We Failed Monogamy or Has Monogamy Failed Us?
Why is it that we marry?
It might seem like a simple question. Yet the answer to that question may be more complex and varied today than at any other point in the history of marriage. When I ask my couple clients why they married, the response I most often receive is, “ ... because I love my partner!”
Part 2: To Be The Wave & The Anchor: The Challenge For Couples Who Love
In a monogamous relationship we might like to believe that our partner becomes our one and only shining light, the person who no matter what makes us feel warm and special inside. Your partner may actually be that person … at least in the beginning of the relationship.
Part 3: Understanding Infidelity
First, what is infidelity?
A subjective question that will yield a broad range of viewpoints. For example, is sexting or watching porn an act of infidelity? There seems to be no universally agreed upon definition of what constitutes infidelity today, and the percentages vary widely on how people understand acts of infidelity differently.
Part 4: Life After Infidelity
If infidelity is understood as a systemic event, we can perceive it more holistically and thoughtfully.
We may then even respectfully gain a dual perspective of the lived experiences of both the deceived and the transgressor. The question no longer becomes “is it right or wrong? … or good or bad?”, but rather raises a question of humanity.
Part 5: Creative Rule Breaking in Marriage: Recovering Desire and Erotic Space
Have you ever thought about what kind of a person you are in love-based relationships? Are you more of a romantic who values intensity over stability? Do you passionately fall in love (i.e., fast and hard)? Are you continuously seeking true love?
Find Balance
As a therapist I am constantly reminded of our society’s high demands and what impact it has on my clients in today’s world. Technology plays a big role in our every day lives and although it offers many perks, it also decreases our privacy and increases our accessibility.
Where Is Your Hot Spot?
Couples often come into therapy with high emotional intensity and anxiety. Couples may initially get caught up in blaming and criticizing their partner while trying to prove their point and make the other person look like the bad guy.
The Power Of Self-Focus
I recently finished reading several books by Harriet Lerner, a psychologist who is trained in family systems theory. Her approach to therapy involves among other things doing family of origin work with her clients. I have always been interested in Murray Bowen’s ideas and theory and after reading several of Lerner’s books.